“You have NO idea”……I was in my Richmond Oncology waiting room this morning (Virginia Cancer Institute – Reynolds Crossing, for those of you keeping score), and a man sitting across from me SCARED me with these words. I was deeply engrossed on my phone – checking Facebook, etc., when I looked up and he was smiling at me. He said, “You’re Susan, right”? I hesitantly said, “yes…” then he told me he had been to my show a week ago at Firehouse Theatre. I said “thank you so much for coming”, and then he paused and said the scary words, “You have NO idea, do you”?.. Of course my southern-“i-dot” response was “’bout whut?” He laughed and said, “you have no idea how many lives you’ve touched and what your message and your joy means to us – to all of us”. The man sitting next to him told me he was there, too. He had fought and beat lung cancer years ago, and the day after my show was newly diagnosed with prostate cancer and was there to meet his new doctor this morning. He told me they both had been thinking of the things I said and songs I sang and that was keeping them encouraged.
Yesterday, in the Dallas airport there were 3 women, about my age, I’d guess, who were talking about some other women in the Bible study group they went to. I couldn’t help that my ears picked up their conversation because they started sounding – and acting like cats. The tone of voice, and the conversation was rather ‘catty’. Even the way one lady was using her left hand when she talked, looked as if she was ‘clawing’ the air. Of course, my brain goes into overdrive and starts sketching out a new musical – “Cats – the Church Ladies”… They had NO idea that their cattiness was ‘turning people off’ to the idea of Bible study, or even church, for that matter. I’m sure they “have NO idea” of the musical idea in my warped brain because of their not-so-private conversation at DFW this past Sunday morning…..
I think “You have NO idea…” is a very scary thought. I have no idea what my blood labs will show today – recent developments for me include Steroid Induced Diabetic Mellitus, AND a lymph node that is growing fast and suspiciously like a metastasis. Depending on the labs today, I may start a new treatment Wednesday of Xeloda (chemo pills – 8 a day) on top of my systemic every 2 week chemo. The side effects of Xeloda are a little scary – mostly hand and foot burning blisters – but the truth about treatment is this, “You have NO idea….” Again, a little scary, especially since I’m traveling this weekend to do the show in Texarkana, Texas.
Thinking back to this morning, I’m sure I met those two men following the show, but didn’t remember or recognize them this morning. But when someone says “you have NO idea…” it’s a scary thing because it’s true. We have no idea how a simple smile or a kind word can be that one light in the darkness that might keep someone going that day.
Instead of being ‘scared’ of what I ‘have NO idea’ about, I’m going to also remember lyrics to one of my songs to get me through this week…. [from “Heal Me”]…. ” …when the waves of doubt wash over me, just hold me to Your heart so close that there is NO ROOM for any FEAR. As long as You are near, You Heal Me.”
Say something positive to someone. Build up, don’t tear down. There’s NO time for Negativity. Don’t be pre-cast in my upcoming headmusical, “Cats – the Church Ladies” 😉
“You have NO idea…”what great things can happen because you choose to share joy and love with those around you – even, and especially to those you don’t know.